Book Rants: Bad Ships Two!

Before we get on the second NOTP, I'll update you on Caleo. (Skip all the bold text if you would like to move on)

On instagram, I'm strictly following accounts that don't ship Caleo! If they do, I block them and unfollow. I'm not even gonna leave Caleo shippers to follow me, if they ship it, they're gonna be so butthurt about everything!

My friends and I have been in a Caleo hater club. That's how bad it is! Who doesn't ship Leo with themselves? (Probably hetero-males in the PJO/HOO fandom)

And there's a ship war going on in my reading group. We've had good reasons not to ship Caleo.

1) They hit it off a week after meeting. Seriously? Rick, that's way too rushed.
2) Suddenly their personalities are altered? Leo becomes mature? CALYPSO IS SASSY?!?!?!
3) Calypso's a water nymph, Leo's a mortal. It's just weird to ship a guy with another being.
4) Calypso was shown to still like the other men who landed on Ogygia. 
5) The rest of the seven think Leo's dead
6) Leo prioritized this girl who he'd known for a few weeks over his friends (Pipes and Jase-boy) who he's known for at least a year!

My friend even read a smut where Calypso never mind

Another thing, it feels wrong that the last scene had to be Caleo and not Percabeth or Frazel or Lightning McLean! 

And then the reasons the other group chose to ship Caleo?

1) They're cute together in the fanart

?!?!?

It feels so wrong to me, but at least Leo's happy.

Okay, now onto the ship we need to talk about.

Dramione.

Why?

Okay, this seems like such an obvious question. Yeah, there's really no real reason to ship them, they didn't show much interest in each other, but for heaven's sake we shipped Jason with a brick

The fanfics written about Dramione are really annoying. For example, most of them have terrible grammar. The personalities have to shift for the relationship to work out (and you can see how that worked out for me in Caleo)

And what about Ronmione? They balanced each other's personalities out, what about the canon writing about them? Jo put them together for a reason.

Also, bruh. Draco Malfoy, the kid who hated muggle-borns, loved pure bloods, wanted Hermy dead in CoS, and stood there when Bellatrix carved the mudblood scar into her. ?!?! (When I give many question marks and exclamation points, I'm trying to mimic the thing I do in real life when I squint at people with no reason) I don't think Hermione can just forgive that. DRACO FOR JABBER'S SAKE. He was raised thinking muggle-borns were the living scum on earth wouldn't just love her straight like that!You can't just change your beliefs like that! It would take so long, long enough for Ronmione (cough canonically) to get married! ?!?!

Dramione shipper in the crowd: WHAT ABOUT THE FICS WHERE RON'S AN ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND-

Me: no please no just get off this website

Who reads the books and goes, "Yeah, Ron's gonna beat her with a belt in the future." Cause what I think is, "Yeah, Ron's gonna beat her at Mario Kart in the future." Harry wouldn't want that either! If Ron would've abused her, I definitely would've thought Harry picked Hermes as his best friend over Ronny! Ronald McDonald over here loves Harmonica. Even Joanne says she's afraid that people are starting to see Drakon over there as a good guy!

I really don't want people to get angry at this when I say goodbye. Well, chess on Sundays, Quidditch Practice on Fridays, and farewell.

*disappears in a self sustaining tornado*